Opening Scene

• [first lines, as the music begins "Just a Kid" by Wilco playing, then Gizmo and Pepper looking at the bubbles, swimming underwater, with the seals, then the penguin flies at the igloo, with Billy and Stephanie falling down on the sea ice, then opening the penguin eggs, with the shark, then grabbing the shark, then roaring at Gizmo, then blowing the snow, tooting, then the polar bears blow snow, then blowing a snow at the polar bear, then roaring at Gizmo, then blowing a snow while painting color, then bringing a killer whale, seals, two-headed turkey, sea lion, penguins, polar bears, then they all run around, with the hammerhead shark mix up color, then putting a hammerhead shark up, then swinging on vines with the salmon, then on the sea ice, then the lobster food lands on Gizmo's head, showing the handprints, then putting handprints, then polar bear roaring at Gizmo, then they all laugh, then painting on the great white shark, then they all laugh, then the great white shark appears, then the sea animals walk away, then trumpeting at Gizmo, looking at the face of the back of the mammoth then grabbing the mammoth, then shaking the snow, then grabbing the snow, with the igloo inside on them both hippies and dogs, sleeping at the evening sky, then cut to the city]
• Tim: Now, as I was saying, life was a constant struggle for survival. Sharks and penguins had no time to enjoy himself because around every corner was an adventure! [he puts his head back on]
• Kid 1: Way to go.
• Kid 2: Oh, good one. [he sighs]
• Tim: It wasn't until an amazing discovery that man was able to take time and enjoy life. And what's that sound? What made The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie's life so much better?
• Kid 3: A video game?
• Tim: Yes.
• Kid 4: The Internet?
• Tim: No.
• Kid 5: A rocket sled?
• Kid 6: A mountain of chocolate?
• Kid 7: Star stickers?
• Tim: No, look, it wasn't a real question. That's right. [lights the fire] Fire!
• [the boy drinks the soda]
• Tim: Whoa, huh? Look at this. Impressive, huh?
• Kid 8: [to Octavius] Professor Slade, why do we have to come to this boring hotel every single week?
• Octavius Slade: It's not boring. It's very interesting.
• Tim: This led to hot dinners. Eventually became the microwave.
• Kid 9: Three, two, one.
• Tim: [the fire burns Ted's fingers] Ow.
• Barbara: Oh. Uh-oh.
• Tim: [the fire burns the paper] Ow. Ooh. [pounding on the ground with the paper] Hot! Fire's hot. [burps]
• Kid 10: That's what you get.
• Tim: Yes, where was I?
• Kid 11: Hey, is that a real spear?
• Kid 12: Can we play with it?
• Tim: Kids, a hotel is a place where we observe. We don't play.
• Kid 13: This stinks.
• Kid 14: What else can we do?
• Octavius Slade: Class, be polite.
• Kid 15: Lunchtime!
• Kid 16: Yeah, lunch!
• [the kids go to lunch]
• Tim: Lunchtime? It's only 9:00 a.m.
• Octavius Slade: [to the class] Buddy system. Stay with your buddies!
• Tim: Huh?
• Barbara: Oh, well, each kid has a buddy so they can all keep track of each other. Everyone needs a partner, right?
• Tim: Oh, yeah. I'm not following.
• Barbara: Um, well...
• Tim: Hmm. Lobster!
• Octavius Slade: Oh, pardon me?
• Tim: Next Thursday, I'm going to talk to your class about the lobster, the closest living relative of the tetrapods. It's pretty great.
• Barbara: I look forward to hearing it. You know I looked at all your Thursday lectures.
• Octavius Slade: [grabbing two parts] I wish today was Thursday.
• [the parts crash, then they all three set it back up]
• Barbara: I mean, I know that it's Thursday...
• Tim: Don't worry. It's not a big deal.
• Octavius Slade: I wish it was. Here we go. [takes two parts to them] I should go catch up to my lobster... I mean, yes, class. Way to go, you both. Way to go.
• Tim: I'll see you next week, Octavius Slade.
• Barbara: [he leaves] Oh, how embarrassing.
• [Tim and Barbara put the parts back on]